Disclaimer: I do not own them. The divine Ms. Rowling does.
1 May 1978 4:55 p.m.
Remus is due back from training any minute. We never told James and Peter what he's been doing. I've been revising DADA during free period. I'm fairly confident in my knowledge. Ugh. I'm done. I'm stopping for a shower on my way back. Okay then. I'll wait in the dormitory and we can go down together. Excuse me? I do hope you meant go down to supper. That's what I said, isn't it. Oh, skipped some words. Sorry. S'okay. See you in a bit. Not enough time to give him a massage. I'll save it for after supper.
James and Lily have made up. Fought, made up, fought some more, and made up again. She really does have the temper of a red-head. Just don't tell her that. James is in "tyrant" mode again. I'm getting a bit sick of it now. Mmmm... That feels goood... Remus, could you perhaps keep your thoughts in the shower? Sorry, Sirius, but after that training, this water is just sinful. Almost as good as your hands. I'm coming in. Stay where you are. Fine. You're a horrible tease, you know. I know. I'm almost done. I'm not.
Always fun surprising Moony in the shower. Must ask him to return the favour.
"Why are you grinning, Black?"
"No reason, Frank."
"You had sex again. Do you always look this stupid afterwards?"
"You'd have to ask Remus. On second thought, let's not embarrass him further."
I'm really going to miss this place. I've had a lot of fun here. Time to go out into the real world. Okay, five weeks until graduation. 3 weeks until NEWT's! Better start studying! I cannot believe I just wrote that! I must be coming down with something.
2 May 1978 11:00 a.m.
I hate James. I really hate James. He had the audacity to wake me up at 5:30 this morning. 5:30! I was happily asleep next to Remus in his bed having a particularly pleasant dream and James had to go and ruin it. All so he could proceed to yell himself hoarse at sleepy Gryffindors on the Quidditch pitch. Michael Jones dozed off and nearly fell off his broom. James was not pleased. I think that Gwen Hoffstead may have something to do with James losing his voice. She's a third year, but her Hoarse Hex is definitely something. So, we all trudged into breakfast thoroughly exhausted. James still hasn't got his voice back. I must remember to congratulate Gwen on a job well done. She's our seeker; very good, small and swift. It helps that her dad works for the Nimbus company in R &D. Michael's a 4th year chaser. His sister, Hestia is a first year Ravenclaw. Anyway, I got in a two hour nap after breakfast so I feel better now. Remus is looking through the Daily Prophet. I think I'll ask for the crossword, keeps me from babbling in this thing. Is he looking at the rentals page?
"What are you growling for?"
"You're looking at rentals."
"Yes, and it's of your concern because?"
"You know why."
"Your glare of death is becoming quite old. Sirius, it's my life and I will live it how I choose."
"Right. I suppose my opinion means nothing then. My feelings mean nothing. I mean--"
"I'm just being honest, because that's how I feel."
"Either you can't or won't see this from my perspective. I am tired of having everyone 'take care' of me. I can do that on my own. I don't need to be mollycoddled, babysat or anything of the like."
"When have I ever done those things?"
After every transformation. Whenever I get the snuffles. Sniffles. Sirius, don't correct me. Fine, "snuffles" it is. And did you ever think that I do those things NOT because I don't think you can take care of yourself, but because I love you and don't want to see you suffer? And as for the "morning after" you fucking do need help! It takes a LOT out of you and I'll be damned if I let your stubborn arse make things worse. I want to make the pain go away. But you CAN'T. I have to try.
"Are you two having another 'silent' fight?"
"Glad to see you got your voice back, James."
"And you had nothing to do with that, Sirius."
"Nope. Ask Gwen Hoffstead."
"Gwen? Little Gwen?"
"Hmm, little? Maybe that's why she did it."
"I need to have a talk with her."
No, Sirius. No more discussion. I have to do this even if it is an exercise in futility. If it doesn't work out, my offer still stands. I know. Ever stubborn. Ever constant. I'll always be here for you, I promise.
3 May 1978 7:35 a.m.
Watching Remus sleep, wish I had some artistic ability to draw this. . I'm sitting at the foot of my bed watching his chest rise and fall. His mouth is slightly open. The bed hangings are drawn, so no sunlight graces his body. Since when did I get so damn poetic? Anyway, he swallows and breathes deeply. He's very slight; he'll definitely get more muscle the way he's been working with Moody. Not too much though. He rolls onto his side. He has a very sexy back. His shoulders flex as he adjusts to the new position, just like a cat. It's strange how much feline grace he has. I want to touch, to kiss. Maybe I should; it's not a half bad way to be woken. Off to enjoy Remus.
4 May 1978 9:40 a.m.
Divination. Blah, blah, blah. Had wonderful morning sex yesterday. My new found poetic ness has found a just reward. Need to be poetic more often. And I believe I have made up a new word. Remus will be pleased... or he will tell me the word that already exists for my meaning. This class would be interesting if they got a centaur to teach. Oh, right. My encounter with Firenze. James and I pranked some Slytherins outside one day and I was assigned detention with Hagrid late at night in the forbidden forest. I had to collect some plants for potions class. Anyway, he lets me skive off with his dog, Brute--a very friendly Labrador retriever by the way-- and we got lost. Firenze, a centaur found us, and oh shite...
Got caught with the diary. Luckily I had enough presence of mind to tell her this was where I record my interpretations of the day's lesson. Had to put it away though. James kept smirking at me all day. Oh, I know what will shut him up. I just asked when he was going to get on bended knee and ask Lily to marry him. He did not like that at all. He's red in the face, which oddly enough, matches Lily's hair. Leave me in peace, I'll leave you in peace. What the bloody hell is my Mum's owl doing coming towards me with a Howler!?
Well, that was fun. Apparently Uncle Alphard passed away a few days ago, nice for anyone to tell me, and he's left me his entire estate. God he's good. The only family apart from Andy that I like. And now he's gone. "Remember, Sirius, you're a member of one of the oldest pureblood families in England... And that means absolutely nothing when you go to meet your maker. Just remember that if you're not enjoying life, you must be doing something wrong." I wonder if they even gave him a funeral; it wouldn't do to look bad by not burying him in the family plot.
7 May 1978 9:50 a.m.
HoM class. Remus is taking diligent notes; NEWTs in less than 3 weeks. Shite, they're two weeks away! They did bury Uncle Alphard in the family plot; I suspect my sweet Mother burned him off the tapestry though. I get it all, and now I don't want to move into that cottage by myself. Too many memories. Oh well, Peter and James are snoring, better wake Peter up. James can wake himself up. Feeling a bit peaky myself. Maybe just a few minutes....____
9 May 1978 12:46 p.m.
I fell asleep in HoM Thursday; Remus was not pleased. He got all huffy about James and I not picking up the slack, he's doing all the work, we're ungrateful, blah, blah, blah. He is the most moody bastard I have ever met! I have mood swings, sure--from sullen to happy and vice versa-- but I don't wallow in the negative moods saying that nothing's wrong when EVERYONE bloody well knows that isn't the case! We aren't ungrateful; it's just that Binns is so boring and monotonous. I can't believe he thinks we're ungrateful. How could he think that? Doesn't he know how much I appreciate him? Think, Sirius, have you once said "thank you" to him? I show him, I mean, oh, hell. He feels like I'm taking advantage of him, doesn't he? And the reason I want him to move in with me is so he'd be at my disposal? Am I? Am I taking him for granted? He is the most reliable of all of us. Well, Prongs is steadily making his claim to that title being Head Boy. Am I though? Without meaning to? I am, aren't I? It's all in his mind really. I'd never. So now what? "Gee, Remus, sorry you feel like we're taking advantage of you, because we're not." Oh, that would go over quite well. But do I?
"Who kicked your dog this time, Black?"
"Stuff it, Evans. Wait, do you think I take advantage of Remus?"
"Not really. You just don't tell him that you appreciate all he does for you."
"I tell him I love him all the time."
"Not the same, show him you mean it and not in a sexual way."
Great, she walks away before I can get her to explain further. Women! Oops, Remus is back, so I ought to be studying.
10 May 1978 Lunch
Remus and I have a great relationship, we really do. We banter, we have sex; we talk, we have sex; we bathe, we have sex; we fight, we have make-up sex. We have deep, meaningful conversations after sex; then we fall asleep. James just glared at me and said "you should be using every free minute to study for NEWTs instead of writing in your journal." James has lost his mind at last. Now Remus is agreeing with James. What is this- "gang up on Sirius at lunch because we're so tightly wound about NEWTs Day?" Get those poles out of your arses mates! Oh damn, went and had naughty thought about that last comment and now can't stop smirking. Full Moon in seven days.
12 May 1978 7:00 p.m.
Another brilliant Potions lesson. I hope the sarcasm shone through there. I wish Snivellus would drop off the face of the earth. Bloody wanker. He keeps trying to bait me. It took James, Remus, Frank, and Peter to calm me down and hold me back after class; I'm not stupid enough to retaliate while in class. Just the typical snarky comments under his breath. Mostly insulting Remus or Andy. Need a food break. Send Remus, James and Peter on food run; I need to talk to Lily about the living arrangement debate.
13 May 1978 Lunch
In other news, thanks to the intervention of one Lily Evans, Remus and I have reached an understanding on the Living Arrangement Debate. He can come home when he grows tired of the loneliness that living by yourself eventually brings about. In further news, I will be studying much in the coming week, so entries will be sparse and abrupt. And mostly complaining about James the Quidditch Tyrant. No time for Sex; Quidditch Cup this Saturday. Full moon on the 18th. Want a nap; too much going on. I think the pressure's starting to get to me. You look panicky I think everything just hit me at once. You'll be all right.
15 May 1978 4:45 p.m.
Too tired to write, so I got out my Dict-a-Quill. Just had an extra practice. I'm out of the showers and laying on my bed. Must plot ways to torment James after NEWTs. Okay, it will be worth it when we win, but for now it sucks. ~door opens, footsteps~
"I'm done early with Moody."
"I'm completely knackered. Fucking James the Tyrant."
"No shower sex today?"
"You are knackered."
"I shall have to punish James most severely."
"Wait until after NEWTs; I'll have my strength back by then. ~rustling sheets~ What are you doing?"
"Getting in bed with you. You're not too tired to cuddle?"
"I...don't...cuddle. I hold you."
"Get over yourself, Black. You're a cuddler."
"Take that back."
"Okay, you're not. I'll just leave you for someone who is."
~rustling of sheets~
"Get back here."
"Why should I?
"Bugger it all. All right. I cuddle."
~rustling of sheets~
"Much better, wasn't so bad, was it?
"Speak for yourself."
"You like this."
"Never get me to admit it."
"Really? You like to hold me but not cuddle or snuggle? Same difference."
"It's a matter of word choice."
"Tell me how much you love snuggling with me and I'll suck you off."
"Can I get a rain check?" ~yawning~
"You ARE tired. I'll go yell at James now. ~rustling of sheets~ Sirius? Sirius?"
~snoring, door opens, footsteps~
"James Potter explain yourself."
"Cup game? If it helps, I'm tired too."
"You aren't supposed to run your team into the ground."
"It's Sirius. He'll rejoin the living in two hours."
"But I'm horny now! And I want sex, damn it! James, why are you backing away from me?"
"Trying to keep"
"For Christ's sake, I wouldn't fuck you with a borrowed prick!"
"What? It's funny!"
"I'm going to the bath now!"
"How long have you been awake?"
"Since you yelled 'I'm horny now!'"
"You're still yawning."
"Cuz I'm still ti-tired."
"Why is your quill?"
"Bugger, forgot to turn it off."
16 May 1978 9:48 p.m.
We won the Quidditch Cup! Off to rejoin the party. Oh, and Remus did as he promised yesterday. I returned the favour concurrently. I've been a bad influence on Remus' language and I couldn't be prouder. Off to get piss drunk!
19 May 1978 Supper
Another full moon without incident. Remus is back in classes. NEWTs in 6 days. Reading over notes. Gah! Can't take anymore! The professors are cramming as much review as possible into their classes, so that helps. I'm being ordered to not write in here the next couple of days... Sod 'em all! I really am taking all of this seriously, no pun intended, but I need some kind of constructive outlet like this journal because you can't shag all the time.
25 May 1978 8:40 p.m.
First day of NEWTs wasn't so bad. Written Charms, HoM, and Astronomy. Tomorrow is written Transfiguration, Potions, DADA exams. Wednesday is the electives exams. Then Thursday practical Charms and Potions. Friday practical Transfiguration and DADA. I couldn't believe how much HoM I remembered and didn't have to invent names or dates! Peter's fallen asleep on the rug in front of the fireplace. James, Remus, Lily and Alice are reviewing for tomorrow. I'm sure they're going to yell at me any moment now. Peter's the one asleep!
30 May 1978 9:50 a.m.
They weren't that bad. I don't know why everyone got their knickers in a bunch over them. Either you know it or you don't. Now, we just have the usual end of year exams next week. Remus has found a flat he likes in Liverpool. He's going to check it out after exams. I, er, volunteered to go with him, but he said he could handle it himself. Not his words, but I'm tired of writing down every little row we have. Peter's been backing me up in private, he doesn't like to get in the middle of things most times. At least he understands what Remus will be facing even if Remus himself doesn't. It's going to be difficult for him to keep a wizarding flat being a werewolf. He could always get a muggle flat somewhere though. Or, he could stop being so stubborn and just move in with me!