1 November 1978 (where’s my bloody watch?)
Moody came by after breakfast and gave me a cane. As though I don’t feel quite helpless already… Maybe it will help me to keep my balance so I don’t fall down on my way to the toilet. I’m taking a restorative draught twice a day, but it’s not working fast enough. To top it off, Remus is in the study doing boring paperwork and leaving me to my own devices. I was almost fucking killed and he’s getting intimate with parchment! Leave it for a bleeding day or two! I’ve been completely emasculated; I need a boost to my ego…if I could get it up, that is… My body has betrayed me. Filthy, dirty, TRAITOR! Work for fuck’s sake! Rise up! Twitch! ANYTHING! Bollocks, I’ve gone completely mental… Maybe I should see if Mr. Cane will help me get to the kitchen without my falling down.
2 November 1978 3:45 pm
I am mobile! Ha ha ha! The cane helps quite a bit. I spent yesterday afternoon helping Remus sort through notes and the transcription of them. At least I’m still able to fight the good fight in some way. My body is still betraying me, Bastard. I’ve got Remus all to myself all bloody day and I can’t do anything about it! And I hate being shut in no matter the company. I don’t like that I can’t do what I want, call it my inner spoiled, rich brat. To make matters worse, Remus is sleeping on the sofa and not in my bed. With me. What if I need something at four in the morning? It’s more convenient if both of us sleep in the same location because:
1) I won’t have to yell.
2) Remus won’t have to travel far to help me.
3) Our combined body heat would be most helpful in speeding the healing process for my muscles.
Therefore, it is only logical that Remus should be sharing a bed with me.
3 November 1978 7:15 pm
He’s so bloody patronising! I can wash myself, thanks. I’m not an infant. If he wanted to turn it into something erotic, he should have joined me in the bath! Not that I can do much about it… Maybe I’m trying too much. I don’t care. I wish he would piss off and let me sulk in peace. I’m no use to anyone at this point. Sure I can hobble around with my cane; actually, I am becoming quite fancy with Mr. Cane, twirling it and such. I dropped the tea cups yesterday; I was put out by that. They just slipped out of my hands. The Healer is stopping in tomorrow to check on my progress. I wish my motor skills would make up their mind to stay.
4 November 1978 5:40 pm
Ha ha ha! Guess what that marvellous Healer said? She said that I am recovering faster than any patient she’s had! Take that you molly-coddlers! So after Remus leaves for work, Peter and I will be practicing some simple spells. If I am recovering so effortlessly, certainly I should be able to bend that no magic for two weeks rule. I need to get back into shape. I even walked around this afternoon without the cane, and I raked some leaves while Remus was in the bath. Peter’s here; best not tell him what we’re doing until after Remus leaves.
6 November 1978 3:20 am
Buggering fuck. I’ve been out cold since Thursday night. I hope Remus didn’t find the needles formerly known as matchsticks. I’ll never hear the end of it. Okay, the no magic rule makes sense now. I feel as though I just got over the flu. Damn it! I wanted to be able to transform next Wednesday. Remus is taking off the rest of that week. So maybe we can do other things to make up for my inability to do magic without passing out for days. It appears that the restorative draughts have helped with other matters… It LIVES! I’m going absolutely mental. To top it off, my suspension is still under review which does not help my mood. Shite. I heard Remus come in. I better look like I’m sleeping.
Got a bit of a tongue-lashing from Remus, and not the pleasant kind. When he was done yelling at me, he started crying. I’ve never seen him cry before, must be due to the sleep deprivation he’s suffered of late. He’s sleeping next to me right now. James and Lily are here. Lily’s in the living room doing some Order work and James is aggravating her there. Well, when he’s not coming in here to torment me. “Lookie at Sirwius; snuggling with his wittle Moony.” When I get my full strength back, he’s going to get it. Or, I could just tell Remus what James has been saying. I am an evil genius. And I don’t snuggle. Evil geniuses DO NOT SNUGGLE!
7 November 1978 11:04 am
Bloody wanker STOLE my bloody wand while I was sleeping!!!! I’m not talking to him until I get my wand back!
Still not talking to him. Even if it means I can’t season my food. Even if I have to eat unbuttered bread. I will suffer these minor inconveniences as long as it takes to get my wand back from that fucking thief!
Not talking to Remus had been so much easier while he was asleep. Now he’s awake and moving around the cottage. As it’s Sunday, he has today and tomorrow off. And he’s in an insufferably good mood. I want my wand back you Wanker!
Trying so very hard to remain angry with Remus. I am failing. Perhaps I should change tactics; I might get further if I make him feel guilty. Time to start sulking and sighing. Tomorrow, I pout.
8 November 1978 12:20 pm
Again, he’s in an insufferably good mood. He’s ignoring my pouting and is making lunch in the kitchen. I’ve been banished to the living room. Oh, and he dressed his wittle Padfoot all snug and warm. I feel like a bloody child! I have no idea why he’s deriving pleasure from my humiliation and foul mood, nor why he’s in an incurable fit of good cheer, or why I’m allowing him to do this to me. Oh boy, oh boy; Mummy Remus says we can go play outside now.
9 November 1978 10:30 pm
Remus is at work, Peter’s asleep on the sofa, and I’m bored. Oh yes, Remus and I had a lovely picnic yesterday. He drew a bit, we had a leaf war, and we sucked each other off… Quite a relaxing afternoon. Bored again. What I really want to do is pop by and surprise Remus, but I don’t want to get him into trouble with his employer as he is taking off the rest of the week. Maybe I’ll have a wank to pass the time…
11 November 1978 11:35 am
Peter is a bloody prude and a fucking coward. Apparently Remus and I forgot to use a silencing charm so Peter heard us going at it yesterday. I don’t know how he’s ever going to procreate, and God help us all if he actually manages to do it. Anyway, Peter was so mortified by hearing Remus and I making love that he found James and told him. When James wouldn’t see his side of the argument (what argument? Who the fuck knows. Peter needs a therapist, perhaps a whole team of them) Peter decided not to help Prongs with Moony last night. The result is that Remus dislocated his shoulder because he threw himself against the cottage before moonset. James says that it didn’t look like Moony was hunting; therefore, Moony was trying to get to his mate. James got beat up a bit this morning; a few cuts and bruises that I helped heal before he went to work. Poppy is coming by to check on Remus. I didn’t want to reset his shoulder for fear of making it worse. I have had medical training, but I also have this frustrating habit of cocking things up worse than they are. It just seems that way with my suspension and everything. Thank god, Poppy’s here. I’ll go wake Remus.
12 November 1978 11:40 am
Remus is feeling much better today, although he still looks tired. He needs these next few days off. I have to go into work at one this afternoon to hear the results of their investigation. Moody came by earlier to tell me not to worry. I don’t know now; I’m considering quitting the Aurors at this point; it’s not like I need the money. I just wanted to do some good, make up for people like my family. I haven’t heard from Andy in months. I’d better write to her and see what’s going on.
I’m not suspended. Rookwood has been shifted into a research department and Avery was let go. However, I have to take a re-entry exam on Monday. If I don’t pass, I have to go through the training again. I’m not spending another six weeks away from Remus.
15 November 1978 3:45 pm
I had that exam this morning. I think I did quite well actually. They just tested my reflexes and my knowledge of potions and hexes. I suppose they needed to be certain that I could remember how to do my job. If I passed, I go back to work on Wednesday. Remus is off today, but he’s asleep now, trying to get himself back on the right sleep schedule. He goes back to work tomorrow night. We’ll have supper when he wakes up and maybe go for a night ride on the bike.
18 November 1978 12:34 pm
Back at work. I have a meeting this afternoon with Barty Crouch, something about specialised training. As long as I’m able to go home at night, I don’t care. Remus had been waiting with supper when I got in last night. Then he came back after his shift had ended and stayed until I got up for work. He left then; he had to meet Moody somewhere. I wonder if Remus will be at the cottage tonight?
Merlin’s balls! They’re shipping me off again! This time it’s Egypt for two weeks. I’m training as a cursebreaker for two reasons: one, I learn ancient and obscure hexes and how to counteract them, and two, I get to snoop around the artefacts and make certain that Voldemort can’t get his slimy hands on them. At least it will be warm. Damn it! I don’t care if it is only for two weeks; it’s two weeks that I don’t want to spend away from Remus. I should be glad that I’ll be back for the full moon. Although, I haven’t tried turning into Padfoot yet. Maybe I ought to do that tonight.
19 November 1978 12:40 pm
Feel like shite today. Managed to transform, but feel like I’ve just had the flu. Remus was waiting on me again and he came back after his shift. I’d like to know where he’s living now so I cam return the favour sometime. I told Travis that the reason why I’m a bit peaky is that I didn’t get much sleep last night. James overheard; Travis winked, said “say no more.” James piped in and said “dear, sweet Merlin say no more.” Travis looked a bit puzzled but attributed James’ outburst to his inherent oddness. James is going to Egypt as well; however, we won’t be training together. We can meet up in our free time. Let’s see if Remus is at the cottage tonight.
21 November 1978 11:17 am
Remus was not waiting on me on Friday, but he did spend the night last night. I was asleep when he came in. When he wakes, I’ll tell him about this Egypt business. I leave on Monday next, November 29th through December 10th. Full moon is on the 10th, but I should be back about an hour before moonrise. Remus is going to love this.
22 November 1978 12:40 pm
In training for the Egypt assignment this week. Remus is with one of Moody’s contacts today. I probably won’t see Remus until Sunday, unless I want to “pop by” while he’s working. His words, not mine. Except, I can’t have his undivided attention when he’s at work. There would be other distractions to amuse me… Remus doesn’t get jealous, per se, he’s just territorial at times.
25 November 1978 12:43 pm
A triumphant symphony sounds in my head. I decided to “pop by” last night. Finally had sex in a public toilet. Technically it was the employee’s loo, but who cares? Apparently I’m not allowed to have too good a time by myself if Remus is watching. Right, I was ready to punch this one bloke who grabbed my arse, twice. I don’t care if I was flirting with anything that moved; still doesn’t mean people have the right to fondle my bits. I suppose I ought to thank Sir Gropes a Lot. If it weren’t for him, I would not have had sex with Remus in a somewhat public place. More training this afternoon with Gringotts Goblins. Some of the Aurors weren’t happy about that, but I am. It’s odd, the perverse pleasure I get imagining my mother’s face if she knew a Black took orders from a Goblin. James just reminded me that I need to get my arse back to work; lunch is over.
29 November 1978 7:10 pm
First day in Egypt and it wasn’t so bad. I met the Cursebreakers I’ll be working with and they took me around one of the pyramids. James and I are staying at the Emerald Sphinx. The rooms aren’t much, just a bed and a dresser, but they have private baths. It costs 5 knuts to make a floo call. Highway robbery. However, as this mission is not classified, I can send and receive post.