Title: Remus Lupin's Diary, November 1978
Rating: NC-17, mention of sexual activity
Summary: Sirius recovers under the care of a very sleep-deprived, frustrated, and worried Remus. Also, a trip to Egypt at the end of the month.
Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own any of these characters. They belong to JK Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Bros, et al.
1 November 1978
I am spending my second day off looking after a stubborn git. Yesterday Sirius had to go to the toilet. Rather than asking for my help, he decided to get to the bathroom by himself; he collapsed in the hallway. So I found him and helped him to the toilet with him sniping all the way. He’s still sniping today. I am tempted to tie him to his bed and place a silencing charm on him, but then I wouldn’t know if he really needed my help. I know he’s just angry about this whole situation (Rookwood, Avery, his inability to do anything about it) and he’s taking it out on the most convenient target-me. We’ve worked out a schedule for his care. I’m on until I go to work and my days off, Peter comes in on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday while I’m at work, and James and Lily come in on Friday and Saturday while I’m at work. I’d like to know when I’m supposed to get any bloody sleep. Great, the insufferable git is bellowing for me. At least we know his lungs are in perfect working order!
2 November 1978
The nightmare continues… First off, I must say that Poppy Pomfrey deserves sainthood. That being said, I CAN’T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS! Moody brought Sirius a cane yesterday, which meant that Sirius thought he had license to walk all day long. He started doing tricks with the cane; I thought he was going to hurt either himself or myself. I almost tied him to the bed. Almost. He did spend most of the afternoon helping me organise the last of my reports. His mood improved while he did that. But today he is trying to walk around as much as possible before the Healer comes to check on him. He says he wants to have a healthy colour to his cheeks. I said it won’t matter what colour his cheeks are if he’s passed out from exhaustion when she arrives. He broke the tea cups half an hour ago so now he’s having a sulk. I can’t wait for Peter to arrive; I’ll be able to have a quick nap before work and escape Sirius. I hope.
4 November 1978
I HATE that bloody Healer! She had to tell Sirius that he is recovering faster than any patient she has had. And I thought he was impossible before? HAH! At least she still emphasised the “no magic” rule. But when have rules ever stopped Sirius Black? I’m operating on less than three hours of sleep a day; I’m quite irritable. Plus the full moon is only six days away AND Sirius is driving me completely mental. Good, Peter’s here. An hour late, but he’s here. I’m going to work so I can get some peace.
5 November 1978
All that walking around Sirius has been doing must have worn him out. It’s tea time and he hasn’t got out of bed yet. I don’t know if he’s even been up at all today. Of course, I got in at three this morning and collapsed on the sofa. Moody woke me up at seven to train until lunch. I better go check on Sirius.
That bloody, stubborn wanker! He did magic yesterday! I found some rather pointy, silvery matchsticks with a few needles. Who knows what else Peter let him do? No wonder he’s sleeping like the dead. Just wait until he wakes up! I haven’t sacrificed my time, sleep, and energy to his recovery for him to act this foolishly!
7 November 1978
I got in from work Friday at four in the morning. Sirius was awake when I checked on him. As I was sleep deprived and had a bad night at work, I proceeded to yell at him about the needles, my lack of sleep, his stubbornness, that I thought he was dead when I found him in the alley that night, and then I started to sob… In other words, I had a complete emotional breakdown. I slept most of Saturday in Sirius’ bed. Sirius woke me near supper time claiming that I had to get up so James would stop snickering when he came into the room. I assured Sirius that we would exact our revenge upon James swiftly. Although I did ask Lily how she managed to get James’ drool out of her hair that morning. I’m glad things are returning to normal for all of us. I’ve missed those small moments of messing about.
8 November 1978
Sirius is a bit angry with me; I confiscated his wand. He’ll get over it. He’s feeling much better; he has his strength back, among other things as he announced to James, Lily and myself yesterday. He’s not dropped anything or had to pause while walking around the cottage. We’re outside enjoying what’s left of autumn. He’s raking a pile of leaves; I know they’ll be down my back in five minutes or less. I’ve taken off this week; I need it. And it will give me extra recovery time from the moon on Wednesday night.
10 November 1978
I’m not certain if I should avoid Sirius today. His health is much improved although Padfoot will not be making an appearance tonight. The cottage smells like Sirius and that is causing problems for me. I don’t know how long I can control myself. And I’m fairly sure that too much repression will result in catastrophe when I’ve transformed… I want to be inside him, rolling my hips, thrusting deeper, biting into his skin, hearing him moan, licking the sweat off his back… This won’t do. Moonrise is in an hour and James is here. Well, he’s outside setting up an obstacle course to keep Moony entertained tonight. Sirius just came in to check on me and he’s not leaving. This is not going to end well. Fuck it.
11 November 1978
I dislocated my shoulder last night. Poppy’s been by and mended me. Sirius made us stew for lunch; I ate a little of it. I’ll be ready to eat to supper; sometimes it takes me a bit to get my appetite back.
12 November 1978
Spent most of yesterday afternoon drifting in and out of sleep. This means that I fell behind in my work for the Order. I am trying to get myself caught up today. Sirius has to go into the ministry shortly to receive the results of the investigation. Mad-Eye has told him not to worry; so Sirius will be pacing until he goes in this afternoon. I think he’s supposed to be there by one o’clock. I don’t know if I’ll get much work done while he’s gone. Which is odd, because I usually blame his presence for my lack of results. When he worries, I worry. I think he may worry more than I do. He certainly winds up faster than I. I want to go with for moral support, but Sirius has forbidden myself, James, and Peter from stepping foot in the ministry. Yes, even James who works in the office. Sirius gets worked up too easily; it can’t be good for him. If Mad-Eye says that there’s nothing to worry about, then there really isn’t anything to worry about. I suppose this job means more to him than he’s admitted. Plus he hates double-crossing, subversive, political crap more than I do. Great, I’m rambling, lovely. Best try to accomplish something today. Off to play secretary and transcribe minutes.
Sirius is no longer suspended. He has to take a re-entry exam on Monday. This means that my weekend will be spent helping him prepare. James will be by to help as well. I feel so scattered lately. Maybe it’s due to my short holiday. Or the full moon two days ago. Or perhaps I had hoped that they wouldn’t lift Sirius’ suspension. Selfish of me, really, especially seeing how greatly his mood has improved. He even sang while he cooked supper. I don’t want him to get himself killed; I want him alive and with me.
14 November 1978
I need to get back to my normal schedule. Today I am staying up until four in the morning and then going to sleep. I start back at work on Tuesday. This holiday has been nice. Sirius gets more of his strength back each day. Today he levitated the sofa as well as making James tap dance. Lily seemed rather amused by the effects of Sirius’ and James’ duel. We care about each other very much; I mean to say all of us cherish? revel in? enjoy? our friendship. I suppose there isn’t a word that quite fits yet. Once again I’ve gone soppy. I really must get back to work and regain my sanity.
16 November 1978
Sirius finds out today whether or not he passed his exam. He feels confident that he did. We went for a celebratory flight last night. Slowly, I am becoming less afraid of that flying monstrosity. Give me a good broom any day and I’m happy. Although, the seat on the bike is quite comfortable for longer trips. I shouldn’t be encouraging Sirius to further heights of illegality. Now, I love the bike when it’s on the ground; I will agree with Sirius that it is, er, “sex on wheels.” However, keep it on the ground; I’d like for neither of us to be killed or arrested. I think that’s why he flies it at night; less chance to be caught equals less griping from me. Maybe I shouldn’t worry so much. See? I’m babbling again. I wish Sirius would find out whether or not he passed.
He passed. He starts back to work tomorrow. At least he’s happy.
17 November 1978
Sirius went back to work today. What he doesn’t know is that he and James per Moody’s request will be training with cursebreakers in Egypt in the beginning of December. I’m supposed to shadow one of the Aurors; Moody suspects him of being one of Voldemort’s spies. The catch is that no one is supposed to know I’m there. I won’t go into what the ministry would do to a dark creature caught spying on the ministry for a secret operative. Dumbledore cannot protect me from everything. Plus, I don’t want to piss off Moody. The goblins have agreed to pay me in artefacts they have no use for, which is anything not made out of a precious metal or adorned with jewels. It will be difficult keeping this from Sirius; he will know I am nearby. I hope I don’t cock this up.
18 November 1978
It’s amazing what a guilty conscience can make one do. Yesterday I went to Sirius’ around four o’clock; I made supper for us. Later that night, I returned after my shift and crawled into bed with him. In the morning, I got up, met Moody, went to my flat, slept, and have now returned to the cottage to once again surprise Sirius with supper. I need to stop this or he will become suspicious. I do not need to rouse his curiosity, not with moody breathing down my neck.
20 November 1978
Did not go to Sirius’ yesterday. Although I will most likely go there after work tonight. He hasn’t told me about his assignment; I know he’s known since Thursday. I suppose he didn’t feel like telling me that night. I don’t know why I’m making an issue of it. He will tell me, even though the act is pointless as I already know about the assignment.
21 November 1978
Sirius has told me about his assignment. I believe he did not appreciate my somewhat non-chalant response. He didn’t have a tantrum or anything of the sort, but he has been staring at me rather oddly. I need to find some way of distracting him so he won’t ask questions; once he starts, he will not stop.
22 November 1978
Irrefutable truths: Sirius is quite sensitive to the moods of others, and sex distracts him from whatever had his focus. If I need to keep something from him, we should have more sex. As though I would be able to do such a thing; I do have a conscience. I met with one of Moody’s contacts in Egypt today. I had maybe five hours of sleep. It will be worth it just for the knowledge I’ll gain about the ancient Egyptians. And help find Voldemort’s spies in the ministry.
24 November 1978
I have made the catastrophic mistake of inviting Sirius to distract me at work. So far he hasn’t taken me up on my offer. I hope he doesn’t, especially not on a Friday or Saturday night. I have so much information to remember for Egypt. Thankfully, we covered hieroglyphs in Ancient runes. Some of the hieroglyphs warn which hexes are used, some tell a myth, others tell part of the deceased’s life, and the rest are riddles. Muggles have only deciphered the mythological ones, and quite poorly at that. Egyptian gods, really, they were just some of the most powerful wizards of their time. I can see how muggles would label them “gods.” Anyway, I am looking forward to gaining firsthand experience with Ancient Egypt.
25 November 1978
I shouldn’t have mentioned anything; I tempted fate. Fortune smiled upon me last night as I didn’t get sacked or reprimanded. Either my boss didn’t know what went on, or he didn’t care. Sirius popped by last night. Need I say more? Well, we did finish what we started in the employee’s loo in October. Much to my current chagrin, I quite enjoyed fucking Sirius at work: illicit activities, the fear of getting caught, the exhilaration of getting away with it, and the intense pleasure of being balls deep inside of Sirius. I am doomed. Doomed, doomed, DOOMED. If Moody doesn’t kill me, Sirius will and depending upon the circumstances, James would willingly help either of them. I must remain focused on my mission. There is nothing sexy about mummies and hieroglyphs. Better start packing.
28 November 1978
Had a send-off with Sirius this afternoon. He’s supposed to check into his hotel in Cairo this evening. I’m supposed to be at the residence by eight tonight. Dumbledore is borrowing it from a friend. I suspect it belongs to Flamel. On another note, my friends have been a bad influence on me. I am devising ways to meet up with Sirius in Egypt. I thought it would be a good way to surprise him. He does get the weekend off. I should see about doing something this coming Sunday, if I don’t get caught before then.
30 November 1978
The Auror I’ve been following is in James’ group. I’m using disillusionment charms and Moody’s invisibility cloak. However, the cloak is becoming a bit of a nuisance in the narrow passages in the tombs. I also received post from Sirius. He still thinks I am in England as he asked me to send my reply with his owl. I need to remember to send the reply with his owl when I go home this evening. Wait, I need to post date the letter. I don’t know how I’m going to keep up all of these illusions!